And Baby Makes We: How To Re-Kindle Intimacy After Baby
There is nothing more beautiful and magical than bringing into the world a bouncing bundle of joy. There is also nothing that will cut sex off in a relationship quicker than a new human being that requires regular burping, feeding, cleaning, tending, cuddling, soothing, singing and watching over and whose very survival depends on you. Between the insurmountable mountain of diapers and late night feedings to a new body and image issues, it's no surprise that many couples feel a dramatic shift in intimacy.
So how does a couple that is excited to welcome their brand new blessing go from total contentment to sometimes total resentment? Lack of intimacy. Not solely sexual intimacy but emotional and even spiritual intimacy takes a back seat to everything baby.
So what does a Relationship Coach Dani Spikes recommend to couples to help baby proof their relationship? “Try not to address your partner when you are tired. More often than not, we say things we don't mean when we are tired that can cause long term damage to the relationship long after the sentiment is gone. Also, carve out time where it's just you and the baby. Attend events like The Spiked Brunch, which is specifically created to disconnect couples from the stressors of the world and re-connect you to each other. One thing that couples tend to forget is that one day that little baby will grow up and move away but you two will still be together.”
Don't have the opportunity to leave the house? Not ready to hire a sitter? Here are four exciting stay in date night ideas for re-kindling intimacy after baby.
Dads, send mommy an email or text message reminding her how beautiful you think she is.
Many times mommy is experiencing self-image issues, in addition to putting the needs of baby before her own. Sending her a little reminder that she is beautiful will move mountains as she takes care of baby especially after birth.
Take a shower together.
When you often only have a few moments together, the best way to reconnect for a few moments is to share a shower together. Use those fifteen minutes to ask each other about each others day as you lather each other up. By showering together, it gives you a few minutes away from connected devices to reconnect after a tiring day.
Cook dinner together.
Even if its a simple spaghetti or a quick pot of rice, when the baby goes down for the first few hours, make a meal together at least once a week. If you can, pop open a bottle of inexpensive wine and pretend you are away at a romantic dinner with just the two of you.
Talk to you partner in appreciation instead of aggravation.
Lack of sleep and interaction with other adults can create sometimes tense and crabby mama and papa bears. Be sure to tell you partner thank you at least once a day, whether it's for picking up the pampers or catching the baby from falling off of the changing table (it's happened to the best of us). Remind your other half that you are grateful for them and that the both of you will get through this together.